Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize