Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I have demons in me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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