My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
