"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize