oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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