try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
