You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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