im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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