i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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