FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
