Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
