I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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