GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
