i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
