You work out of a Hotel?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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