Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
