YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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