You're so nebulous sometimes
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
