What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
