Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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