oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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