Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
