I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
