I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
