did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize