just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
