I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
