I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize