apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
