meet me or not, i'm out of control
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
