he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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