? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
