Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize