I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Help. Why am I so naked?
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