no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize