somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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