yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
