Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize