ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
