I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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