the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My ATM looks so different sober.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
