You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
