I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
