Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
