you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
