If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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