If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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