we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
