Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize