Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
