ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
whose ass print is on the piano?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
