lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Randomize
