Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
