I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
