I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
