Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
