i think my tv is drunk
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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